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Ted IS A JERK.

As you walk into the kitchen and say good morning, he gives you this BIG, TOTALLY OBNOXIOUS guy-to-guy wink.

His eyes cut to Maggie.

You get it.

You wish you didn’t.

Ted the Dumb thinks Maggie is your girlfriend and that she has spent the night.

Maggie doesn’t catch this, of course. She is pouring you a cup of coffee.

You give Ted your death-ray look.

Then all is redeemed by Zeke trekking down the hall calling, “Maggie? Maggie, I’m hungry!”

Ted is blown away. The random collection of cells he calls a brain crashes.

As Zeke comes into the kitchen, you enjoy the moment.

In Ted’s limited universe, Zeke does not compute.

I give Ted a big, BIG wink. “Later,” I say.